“No problem, sir,” says the S-M, and when C Company is on parade, he calls out “Atten-shun! Higgins! Your father’s dead!” at which poor Higgins breaks down in tears on parade and has to be escorted away. The next morning, the colonel once again sends for the sergeant-major and says “Mr. Macintosh, once again C … Read more
Two kids were arguing on the playground at recess. “My father is better than your father!” “No, he’s not!” “My brother’s better than your brother!” “No, he’s not!” “My mother is better than your mother” A pause. “Well, you got me there, my father says the same thing.”
One day Jimmy John went to into a br0thel on the west coast of Canada. He was greeted by a stunning hostess that politely asked how they can be of service. Jimmy, with his Newfoundland accent says: “ I would like to see Peggy Sue.” The hostess replies: “ok, she is just finishing up and … Read more
“Mummy, mummy, are little birds made of metal?”“Of course not, darling, why do you think that?”“I just heard dad say he’d like to screw the arse off the birdnext door.”
A young boy walked into a bar and asked for a bottle of beerand 20 fags.“Now, now,” smiled the barmaid, wagging her finger. “Doyou want to get me into trouble?”He replied, “Not at the moment, I just want my beer andfags.”
Class 3 have a boy who is always in trouble, he is constantlyupsetting the other children and damaging the schoolproperty. Eventually, a letter is sent home to his parentssaying the school has put up with his bad behaviour long enough. This morning, they found him masturbating inclass so they have expelled him. The letter continues: … Read more
At the end of the human biology class, the lecturerconducted a quick question and answer session to check thateveryone had been listening to his lesson.“You over there, the girl in red,” he said pointing, “whichpart of the body becomes 10 times its normal size underemotional stress?”Flushed with embarrassment, the girl refused to answer, soanother student … Read more
Father walks into his son’s bedroom to find him lying facedown on a life-size picture of Britney Spears.“Son, what’s going on?” gasps his father.“It’s alright, dad, I’ve got plain Jane from next doorunderneath.”
The boy’s father was so disappointed with his son’s schoolreport, he decided to go and see the headmaster to find outwhat had gone wrong.“Well, I have good news and bad news,” replied theheadmaster.“The bad news is that your son has discovered he’s gay andhe spends all his time pursuing the good looking boysinstead of studying.”The … Read more
Two kids were arguing in the playground.“My dad’s a better darts player than your dad,” said the firstboy.“No he ain’t,” said the second boy. “My dad got the highestscore last week.”“OK, OK, but my mum’s better than your mum.”“Yeah, alright, my dad says the same thing.”