Two nuns are tasked with painting a bedroom. They are concerned about getting paint all over their outfits, so they lock themselves inside and str*p out of them and begin painting in their und*rwear. All is going well until there is a knock at the door. “Who is it?” They ask. “Blind man,” is the … Read more
She gets out of bed and puts on her shoes. As she’s walking down the hallway to the convent kitchen, another nun looks at her, smiles and says, “Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!” She thought this was a bit odd, but decides to ignore it and keeps on … Read more
A blonde drops her dress off at the dry cleaners. “Thank you” said the assistant “come again” Blonde “No” said the blonde “it’s toothpaste this time”
An old man finds a c=nd=m in his grandson’s apartment and asks what it is. “It’s a c=nd=m,” replies the grandson, sheepishly. “What do you use it for?” asks Grandpa. The grandson is embarrassed, so he says, “I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain.” Grandpa says, “That’s a … Read more
Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses. The next morning they went to the … Read more
How He knows that man is single? A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The cashier says: “you must be single” The man replied: “Wow how did you know that ?” Cashier: “ Because you’re ugly”
A beautiful young woman, on an international flight, asked the priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor?” “Of course you may. What can I do for you?” “Well, I bought this expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the Customs limits and I’m afraid that they’ll confiscate it from me. Is there … Read more
Son: “Daddy i fell in love and want to date this awesome girl!! “ Father : “That’s great son. Who is she?” Son: “It’s Tina, the neighbor’s daughter”. Father : “Ohhh I wish you hadn’t said that. I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is … Read more
A scrawny teenage boy asks his muscular friend how he gets so many girls to sleep with him. The muscular friend says, “Here’s what you do: next time there’s a party, get a large potato and stick it down your pants and act normal. You’ll see – that’ll turn you into a chick magnet.” A … Read more
A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him. “Quiero calcetines,” said the man. “I don’t speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here,” said the salesgirl. “No, no quiero … Read more